PART TWO:

Sadly, Running River proved to be barren.  There would be no heir to succeed the Big Chief.

 Reluctant to replace his plucky young squaw, he looks on Facebook and see's Marjorie's announcement of her first son:

 Big Chief knew the parentage of the half-paleface, and recognised his own son when he saw him.   He resolved to bring him to the reservation that will one day be His.

 

Consequently, Big Chief sent over his trusty second-in-command to the green fields of South West London (on Unijet), to retrieve the Chosen Child.

   

 Paul, upon discovery of the abduction of little Two-Dogs-Screwing (George, for short), became stricken by grief.

Mercifully, Marjorie managed to calm Paul down, and they listened again to the drum message left by the thieving Cherokee:
"Two-Dogs-Screwing go back reservation.  He will be heap big chief.  He no learn airy-fairy ways like paleface kids. Child be safe and happy. Running River say Hi."
 "There you are, dear.  George is well cared for, and we'll visit Nebraska when he turns 30, if you like."

And the subject was closed.  After all, there were bigger fish to fry:

 Evil cousin Davina was coming to stay, along with her nit-ridden son, Alfie.

"How are you, Paul ?", she greeted him with steely and knowing eyes, as well she should:

For they shared a terrible and wicked secret, that no-one must ever know.......

Tune in next week to find out this dreadful secret that only Paul and Davina must know about.




 

THE AMANDA ANN FAMILY SHOW - SERIES FIVE

PART ONE:

 "Hand transplant went very badly, I'm afraid"



















"And apparently, I collapsed in front of the servants:"

"Oooh!  Master Paul!", they cried (hysterically)

 "My Lavinia rang for an ambulance - eventually."









 "And I was ordered complete bed rest..."

 "Marjorie's blue eyes became misty with concern:
'Where is the Will, Paul?  You have made one, haven't you?!'"

 "And then Marjorie stayed away.  Only Mary visited me, and became very worried indeed when I turned delirious."

"Oh Master Paul, I'd better call in the priest"

Crossing herself, she went to fetch the lady of the house:

 "But my wife was too stricken to attend my bedside: 
 'Is the house mine?  How much do I get?', she mumbled to herself."

"

 "My fever grew worse, and Mary never left my side.  She fed me crumbs of cake, willing me to stay alive."

"Then I had the most brilliant idea!  Feeling much better, I asked Mary to marry me!
I would divorce and disinherit Marjorie, and leave all my money to Mary's kids in Borstal!"

 "This news did not go down terribly well with Marjorie and Lavinia....."





"Then everything went strange again.  And this time, I really did come to."

"You silly bugger, Paul!  Whatever were you mumbling about?!  And thanks for not making a will, by the way!"

 "Umm, Mary?", 
I croaked nervously, "We're not engaged or anything, are we?"




Mary looked startled:  "No Sir."

"I can see I'm going to have to keep an eye on you, Paul.", Marjorie said protectively.

"Then the bitch locked me in the spare room!
Welcome back, Readers!"

Is Paul doomed to stay in the dreaded and most unwelcome spare room?  Or will his evil wife let him out?  (When she wants his pin number)

Don't miss the next exciting installment.
Same time, same channel.

Don't touch that dial!!!!