What ho, everyone! Jolly good summer holiday? Me too. Marjorie in St Tropez, and me on old home ground. This is the best holiday we've ever had!
What with Mary on maternity leave (I know, I know!), we've got a super new filly to help out in the meantime
This is Marigold.
Super company, pleasant cup of tea and jolly civilised company. We have a morning chat about her kids at university, that sort of thing...
Mr Slagg, I mean Father is also very pleased with her. He says she's a right little darlin', and tries not to look up her skirt!
Sadly, Mrs Slagg is not of the same opinion:
She can see that Mary cannot hold a candle next to Marigold's breezy and pleasant ways.
Sadly, things go wrong very quickly:
Marigold's staying late one night to do the dusting, and well, I start pouring the old wine and offering her a fag and then....
the cold light of day wakes us up to our shame....
Marigold, deeply embarrassed, swears this will never happen again. We would never mention it.
Then bloody Mrs Slagg started ....
It was relentless. Mrs Slagg finding all sorts of our valuables in Marigold's bag. Marigold sobbing, no idea how they got there...
"I forgive you, Marigold", I say.
That would flummox that valuable-planting old bag!! I decide to nip all this in the bud, and I tackle Mrs Slagg head on!
I mentioned all sorts of things, such as retirement and being laid off. This sort of trouble would be too much for her..etc. Mrs Slagg soon buttoned up.
So everything was pretty much tickety boo, until....
Marigold walks in one day, pale and wan:
"Sir, Mr Amanda Ann..Paul...
We are with child."
"Whaaattt?!"
